Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

Take a break from GPS related topics. Share a joke or just chit chat.

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kissnight
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#841 Post by kissnight » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:21 am

4 Sons and a dotter
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a roomeveryone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."


:lol: :lol: :lol:
Last edited by kissnight on Wed Jul 30, 2014 11:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#842 Post by moeyHC » Wed Jul 30, 2014 10:58 pm

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Hello GOD Welcome back... :lol: :lol: :lol:
MSM Glossary/Index - viewtopic.php?p=57986#p57986

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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#843 Post by kissnight » Wed Jul 30, 2014 11:26 pm

moeyHC wrote::rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Hello GOD Welcome back... :lol: :lol: :lol:
hahahahahaha... thanks dear... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#844 Post by kissnight » Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:53 pm

Cell Phone Etiquette
After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart, its Eric. I am on the train."
"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".
"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart".

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#845 Post by kissnight » Thu Jul 31, 2014 4:01 pm

The Goat and The Horse
There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat.

One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.

The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat approached the horse and said: Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat came back and said: Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three...

On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on... Fantastic! Run, run more!

Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party. Let's Cook the goat!!!!

Lesson: Management never knows which employee actually deserves the appraisal.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#846 Post by kissnight » Thu Jul 31, 2014 4:03 pm

Sexual Hair-assment
This lady walks into her boss's office one day and says, "Sir, I'd like to file a sexual harassment complaint."

Her boss says, "Well what's your complaint?"

She says, "My co-worker Joe said my hair smelled nice."

The boss says, "That's really not sexual harassment."

The lady counters, "But, Joe's a midget!"


:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#847 Post by civic98 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 10:59 pm

Test
Q – Why Are Condoms Transparent?
A – So That Sperms Can At Least Enjoy The Scene E ven If Their Entry Is Restricted!

Q – What Is The New Aids Awareness Slogan?
A – Try Different Positions With The Same Woman Instead Of Same Position With Different Women.

Q – What Will Happen If Earth Rotates 30 Times Faster?
A – Men Will Get Their Salary Everyday And Women Will Bleed To Death.

Q – Why Do 90% Girls Have Left Boob Bigger Than Right?
A – Because 90% Boys Are Right Handed.

Q – What Is The Difference Between A Panty & A Stage Curtain?
A – When You Pull Down The Stage Curtain, The Show Is Over, But When You Pull Down The Panty.. It Is Showtime!

Q – What Does A Signboard Out Side A Prostitute’s House Say?
A – Married Men Not Allowed Here. Because We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy.

Q – What Is The Similarity Between A Wife And A Chewing Gum?
A – Both Are Sweet In The Beginning But Become Tasteless And Shapeless Later.

Q – Why Is Sex Like Shaving?
A – Well, Because No Matter How Well You Do It Today. Tomorrow You’ll Have To Do It Again.
Laugh time

1. Question: “Why Can’t Anybody Satisfy A Woman Completely?”
Answer: “Because Nobody Has A Dick Made Of Gold, Decorated With Diamonds And Ejaculates Cash

2. Question: “Why Did Newton Commit Suicide?”
Answer: “Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Motion

3. Questions: “Why Do Men Wear Underwear?”
Answer: “As Per Military Rules, All Types Of Weapons Should Be Kept Covered During Peace Time“

4. Questions: “Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex?”
Answer: “They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure“

5. Question: Why Do Women Wear Panty?
Answer: Because State Law Says All Man-Holes Must Be Covered When Not In Use.

....Virginity is like a Balloon.., One prick.. and it's gone for ever!

..Sex is like a pack of Chips.., Once you start!
You can't stop..!

..An Exam paper.. is like a Dick .., When it's hard! People get fucked!..

..Education.. is like hiring a prostitute.., It needs both your money.. and your hardwork .......!

......Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand.. can let you achieve it!

..Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !....

.. Fuck a woman and she Loves you. Love a woman when she Fucks you.....

..MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.....

..The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!....

..Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up....

..Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute....

..If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! ....

..If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible ask him to wear condom after sex!....

:wave:

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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#848 Post by sonnyoh » Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:18 am

A Hokkien couple from Penang arrived at US immigration......
The Officer asked "do u have fever?", turning to the man.
The husband kept quiet as he speaks no English.
The officer asked again in a loud voice - "DO U HAVE FEVER?"
The irritated wife shouted back in hokkien...
" E BO LA!" (HE DOES NOT HAVE)....

The rest are news...
:lol:

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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#849 Post by civic98 » Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:37 pm

A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the floors.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!!
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

(scroll and keep reading!)

The store's owner opened a “New Wives Store” just across the street.

The 1st Floor has wives that listen to men.

The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been visited by men!!!!!!

:muak:

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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Part 2

#850 Post by JomNang » Thu Jul 27, 2017 2:10 pm

A young man once robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors..

But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.

Luckily, the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.

:D

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